Music Monday - Let it Go

Last week, the Short Blogger watches a movie. Yes, Frozen it is called. Smeagol likes it very much. We wants to sing a song from it!

We changes the words a bit. The cold does bother us, doesn't it precious?

Does it like our nice singing? We sings very high for this song, yes precious, very high! If it doesn't like us, the Short Blogger says to "let it go." It keeps saying that. We doesn't know why.

Happy Eassssster!

It is Easter, Precious! Yes, Easter Sunday it is!

We likes Easter. It's very happy. Though too bright for us, precious.

Does it know our favorite part of Easter? Can it guess? We stole them from nests long ago, teaching our grandmother...our grandmother...

Eggses! Eggses it is! We eats lots of eggses on Easter. So tasty, so scrumptious.

Would nice Master like an Easter egg?

original pic from arwen-undomiel.com

 But that is not all that is special about today, oh no precious! Does it know what else is today?

It's a birthday! Yes, it is Andy Serkis's birthday!

We thinks it looks very nice in a suit, doesn't it Precious? Nicer than when it is playing us?

Andy Serkis is our friend, and he has lived for 50 years today! Catching up to us, is it precious?

We must celebrate with something we likes. And we likes riddles! We likes riddles very much. The Short Blogger tells us to say thank you to Shaak Ti for sending one to us. [thank you, you rock!]

I hear you like riddles: Paul is 20 years old in 1980 but only 15 years old in 1985. How is this possible?

Yes, it is right, we does like riddles! We shall try to guess your riddle.

Hehehe, chestnuts, chestnuts, we can solve this. Hmmmm.....ss, ss, ss.......s-s-s-s-s-s.......

Ahhhh! We doesn't know, we doesn't know! Poor Smeagol. Poor, poor Smeagol cannot guess. We doesn't know, it wins the game!

[At this point, I tried and failed to solve the riddle. So I asked my brother, who also didn't know. Then I brought it to my dad, who immediately came up with the answer.]

The years are BC?? BC the Short Blogger tells us? What is it? Like the Second Age leading into the Third, it says? We doesn't understand! Nooooo we doesn't like riddles very much at all. [he's kidding, we really enjoyed your riddle!]

Now Smeagol must go have more eggses. We hope it has a happy Easter!

April Fool!!!

Dear Smeagol,

APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!!!

It's me, Deagol! Yeah, I'm dead. Thanks to SOMEBODY. But being dead isn't as bad as you might think. I have lots of time to make plans, so I will return to haunt Smeagol for the rest of his days!!!

Let's start off with some lovely fish and chips, shall we? Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish!

Look at this, Smeagol

Look at it

Isn't it beautiful

And who better to share such a delicacy with than our dear Bilbo Baggins!!

So majestic

Nice sword, eh Smeagol? You've seen it before, haven't you?

Bit nicer looking than this blogger, I'd say

And the wise elder hobbit!

Ah, sweet revenge. Farewell Smeagol! May you keep what hair you have left!

Your friendly ghost,
Deagol

---

Update from Arda - here was Deagol's redesign from April 1st that Gollum loved so much:

Fish Fridays

Fisssh. The Short Blogger tells us that on Fridays during "Lent," it doesn't eat orcses or other meats. So it may eat fish instead. We thought this was a nice idea. One day, one whole day just for fishes! Smeagol liked this.

Then it offers to take Smeagol to a "fish fry" last night. It tells us that they have lots of fishes for Smeagol, all the fish Smeagol could want. What is the fry, we asks? But it doesn't tell us. It tells us to come along and see.

A fish fry, oh no precious. Not again, not ever!

It cooks the fish! It fries it! Ruins the juicy, tender fishes! It puts it on fire, burns it, adds nasty bread, thinks it tastes good. No, precious, no it does not! We wants our fish raw, yes, raw and wriggling! Smeagol hates fish. Nasty fried fish! Precious is very disappointed. We dursn't do this again.

[Gollum is choosing to look at the negative and ignore the fact that he was able to request raw fish. I am not a horrible person. -Arda]

Smeagol eating nice fishes we likes

Gollum Reviews BBC Sherlock

This post has no spoilers but pictures and references to seasons one and three if you want to know nothing!

When the Short Blogger started watching sssSherlock, we thinks we would like it. But we changes our minds, maybe. It will see in our review.


The Nice:

They writes it very well. Not as nicely as Tolkien, but we likes it. They make it all look pretty, yes, very pretty. How we see it, and move from place to place, and the wordses on the screen.

They also mention us! It doesn't say our name right (we are Gollum, not Golem), but we doesn't mind.

So we likes some things about it. But there is something we doesn't like too. Now we tells it about it.

The Nasssty:

Bagginses.

We hates Bagginses. Why is it in the show, precious? It should be in a mountain being eaten by a dragon! Go away, go away and leave us alone! It ruins Sherlock! Baggins! We hates it forever!

And it mocks us in the show too. Look, precious!

source

"Yeah, well at least I would, if I can get to my pockets!"

Its...pocketses. What has it got in its pocketses?


But that is not all, oh no, precious. Does it know what else Baggins did? 

HE STOLE OUR PRECIOUS!!!

original pic from here

It wears it! It gloats! It takes it all for itself and doesn't care if it breaks poor Smeagol's heart. Thief! Sneak! Wicked, tricksey, false!

We all knows who the real Moriarty is, don't we precious.

Smeagol doesn't like Sherlock very much after all. We wouldn't mind it if it weren't for Baggins. Yes, we wanted him to blow up by that nice pool, didn't we, precious.

But now the show is gone for a long time, so Smeagol doesn't have to see him. We watches nice fishing shows instead. We hopes it likes our review and follows our warning about Bagginses.

70 Questions

Hello followerses! Smeagol has come back! We had a very good idea for posts to do this month, but the short blogger could not help us. She says she had no creativity. So we will answer questions instead! Very long ago, Rogan sends us a question. He asks, "Dear Gollum, What happened to all your hair? No Offence . Rogan." What happened to our hair? We have fabulous hair! And we takes very good care of it. It can read about it at the end of this post!

Now let us answer more questions! We takes these from tumblr. It is a long list, so we will do part of it.


Personal

1-How are you?

We are happy that the movie Andy Serkis worked so hard on is out! But we are not happy to see so many pictures of Bagginses.

2-Post a picture of yourself.

#nofilter

3-Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Sometimes we wish that we were our Precious.

4-What is your entire name?
Smeagol

5-How old are you?
We doesn't remember. The short blogger says about 589.

6-Age you get mistaken for:
23

7-Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
What is a zodiac?

8-What did you do on your last birthday?
Smeagol did not celebrate his birthday for a long time. But we remembers one birthday. We were fishing with Deagol. And he gave us the Precious.

9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
Getting our Precious back.

10-What is your hair color?
Brown

11-Have you ever dyed your hair?
No

12-What is your eye color?
Blue. People likes Master's big blue eyeses, maybe they likes ours too?

13-If you could change your eye color, would you?
No

14-Do you wear contacts/glasses?
No

18-Do you have any tattoos?
If we did, it would say "Precious" in runes.

19-Do you have any piercings?
No

20-Left or right handed?
We use both our handses.

21-What’s your sexual orientation?
We doesn't like anyone.

22-Do you drink?
No.

23-Do you smoke?
No! Smoke rising in the sky! Tells nasty men where we are!

24-Do you have any pets?
We eats it.

25-Where do you work?
Smeagol tries to get his Precious back but people keep making him answer questions about the Precious or making poor Smeagol lead them to Mordor. So we are a "tour guide."

26-Something you are working on right now:
Getting our Precious back.

27-Do you have any “rules” about food?
No nasty elf bread. Avoid orcses if we can.

28-Where are you from?
Near the Gladden Fieldses.

29-What would you say is your best quality?
Our riddles! We are good at riddles!

30-What do you think you’re really good at?
Guessing Baggins's riddles.

31-What do you think you’re really bad at?
Our throat cannot swallow nasty elf bread though we are hungry.

33-Are you a bad person?
Smeagol is good. Good Smeagol. The Fat Hobbit says we are bad.

34-Are you nice to everyone?
We will be nice to them if they are nice to us.

36-Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Peter Jackson says we has nine teeth.

37-What is your ideal bed? Why?
Somewhere dark and cool.

38-Did you wake up cranky?
No

39-Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
No, but look what Smeagol finds! Amazon.com: The Hobbit Plushies Gollum Plush

40-What do you think about the most?
My Precious

42-What you want to be when you “get older”?
We are older now.

43-What are your career goals?
Find our Precious.

44-What is your ideal career?
Telling hobbitses "no!" when they ask for directions.

45-Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
No, we have our own blog now.

46-Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Yes, we thinks about how Baggins stole our Precious a lot. It makes us angry.

47-Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
We doesn't think so.
[oh really Mr. Having-creepy-conversations-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-arguing-with-yourself? -Arda]

48-Say 10 facts about your room:
Smeagol doesn't have a room, so we talks about the Misty Mountains.
1. Dark
2. Lake
3. Fish
4. Orcses
5. Precious
6. Alone
7. Cool
8. Baggins
9. We hates it

49-Do you have any phobias?
We are afraid we'll never find our Precious again.

50-Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
No
[Thank you for the suggestion. I will be recommending one this week. -Arda]

51-Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
Hobbitses and nasty elf bread.

52-Ever broken any bones?
Stickses and stoneses may break our boneses but Peter Jackson's changes to our books never hurts us.

53-Ever come close to death?
...yes.

60-Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?
There are pages of us, but we doesn't run any of them.

61-Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
No.

62-Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
Sneak, as the Fat Hobbit would say.

63-A quote you try to live by:
"The Precious will be ours, once the hobbitses are dead." -Us

64-A famous person you’ve been compared to:
Yoda

65-Weird things you do when you’re alone:
We likes to talk to our Precious, but we doesn't think it's weird.

66-Something you do without realising:
Sneaking

68-Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:
We wants to be the Fat Hobbit so we can fall in the mud.

69-Leave me a compliment:
Who is it? We are not leaving a compliment!

Draw My Life

Smeagol is working on a new post. It will be finished soon, yes, very soon! But now, watch this video we finds!